chimes


Supermoon

august 31st, 2023. 1:40 pm


I was on a train ride home from New York, leaning against the window's glass, sneaking glances at my darkened self in the image outside. I am always scared to check. It is sometimes that I am surprised to find that I'm a lot prettier than I could ever previously see. Maybe out of exhaustion, or delusion, I wrote it off. I don't know if that makes sense, it feels like what I say, I am just saying, anymore, and I never really know if it's because I believe it or because I want myself to and I have to stop deciding what everything means. My body was squeezing itself, and my hand was rubbing my arm while my eyes squinted at the silver rings on my fingers but not directly, I watched from my person at the girl in the reflection who I really envied and then I noticed in all of that, the moon was just up there, bulging out of the night, I had only just noticed. I stared out with my neck cranked and my arms holding myself and I saw a face first, with two eyes with lashes and horror inside, something that looked like it could be a nose or a mouth, either one, but then I realized that it was a boy and a girl sleeping on the moon. Or they might've been dancing. Or hugging. Or the boy was on his side, in bed, propped upright with his elbow supporting the rest of him and with great strength it kept itself from sinking into the canvas sheets, his cheek in his hand, staring at the girl who slept unknowingly on the left side of the bed but it'd be her right, cocooned and deep in it. They were weirdly nurturing each other. In this position, they somehow both benefited. And they were taking on all these different poses, thrusting their bodies into a new, jumbled motion, like human evolution, like the little people on the Nintendo Mii creation studio when they jolt into formation, alarmed because you smacked them silly with the click of the remote controller. A new position, both at the same time exactly, and platonically. They weren't having sex, if that's what you think. If anything, they weren't moving. They hopped into it, energetically, able. They were holding each other without touching one another and it was so pretty that I almost cried. My contact went dry in my eye and I had to blink it back to moisture and then refocus and get back to the visual, and let it move again without making it. I hope it was me up there. The moon is gone now but I think they're still doing it, where we can't see. I don't think they knew we could see them. I wonder if I saw them.


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